Loyalty
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: AU. After Lucifer captures Castiel in Carthage, Lucifer offers Meg the chance to make up for almost allowing Castiel to escape. She agrees without knowing what Lucifer intends. The result of Lucifer's plot forces Meg to consider her allegiance to Hell and what it means to be a demon.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** This fanfiction contains strong sexual content in chapters two and four. Please consider this before reading. The M rating definitely applies for this fic!

I'm also placing a Complex Consent Issues warning on this fic.

Written for the Megstiel Big Bang 2019.

* * *

Meg sat on the edge of the bed staring at the door. They were coming for her soon. She knew it. She'd been alone now for several days.

The light was fading and darkness was setting in when the door finally opened. Three demons came in and surrounded her. She smirked to herself. They were new, low level. She could easily take them if she needed to.

Next, another being entered the room. Lucifer. Her Father. The one she had dedicated her existence to. Who she had followed without question.

"Meg. Faithful, obedient Meg. Do you have something to tell me?"

Meg stared at him, silent for a few moments, before replying, "No."

He stepped closer and studied her before shaking his head. "You're lying. I can sense it."

"I'm a demon. You better than anyone should know lying's what I do."

He sighed. "You disappoint me. You used to be my most trusted demon. What happened?"

"I made up for my mistake," she replied.

He suddenly lunged forward and grabbed her by the hair. "You'll make up for your insolence, and this time it will be far less pleasurable for you."

She resisted the urge to laugh in his face. "You wouldn't dare. Not now."

He smiled and ran his fingers down her body, from just below her breasts to her belt. "True. It won't last forever though. Once I have what you owe me, what I do next will make Alistair's torture seem like beginner's work."

He shoved her at the nearest demon and strode out of the room. "Bring her."

The demon pulled on her arm and Meg allowed him to lead her.

In the hall, Lucifer gestured to the stairs. "Take her to the lobby and wait for me."

The demons surrounded her and led her down the hall and around the corner. Judging by the numbers on the doors, they were on the second floor. The moment they rounded another corner, Meg lashed out with her power, causing the demons to slam into the walls. She held them there and grabbed the nearest weapon, slicing their meat suits enough to make them useless. They vacated, columns of dark smoke emerging from their mouths. They would alert Lucifer, which meant she had very little time to escape.

Meg ran through the lobby of the abandoned hotel. Behind her, she heard a scream and felt a rush of pure power. It should have destroyed her, but instead, it seemed to bounce off her skin. Ahead of her was the door and the edge of the wards. She just had to get beyond them and she could escape.

Footsteps came towards her and she flung out her hand, sending the demons flying. Heavier footsteps sounded behind her, and she reached down to gather enough energy to run even faster.

She made it to the door and looked back. Lucifer was coming after her, his face twisted in rage, his eyes glowing red, and his wings casting shadows on the walls. A second later he disappeared as she stepped past the wards and teleported away.

Her intended destination was one of her many safe houses, but instead, she found herself in a scrap yard, not far from a house. She had been here before, years ago, and in a different meat suit.

The door to the house opened and the Winchester brothers came running out.

"Meg! What the hell are you doing here?" Dean Winchester yelled, heading towards her with a gun raised. She knew that it was the Colt, a gun with bullets able to kill a demon. She felt a strange surge of protectiveness flow through her.

"Where's Castiel?" she replied.

They stopped a few feet from her. Dean kept the Colt raised, and Sam was clutching the Demon Killing Knife.

"None of your business. Now, what-"

"I need to speak to Castiel," she interrupted firmly.

A moment later Castiel appeared next to the brothers, the faint sound of wings accompanying his arrival. He looked at her, his eyes narrowed and his head tilted slightly. Then his eyes widened and he took a step towards her.

"Meg?" he asked.

"Yeah. We obviously need to talk."

"Cas, what's going on?" Sam asked.

"Lower your weapons," Cas told them.

"No. This isn't just any demon. This is Meg. She's the one responsible for Ellen and Jo—" Castiel stepped up to Dean and grabbed the weapon from Dean's hand, tossing it a few feet away. "What the fuck, Cas?"

"Feeling protective?" Meg asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I need to speak to Meg," Castiel told the brothers. "Please—"

"I'm not going anywhere until someone explains what exactly is going on here. You're an angel. She's a demon. You should be smiting her mightily, not needing to talk to her."

"Dean, this is more complex than you realize," Castiel countered, and then, with an impatient look, grabbed Meg's shoulder. She heard the sound of wings again and found herself in a dingy bedroom.

The world spun for a second and she felt a surge of nausea. Hands pushed her to sit down on the bed.

"Don't do that again," she ordered.

"I'm sorry. Dean was not going to give us time to talk. I thought getting away was the best course of action."

"Yeah, well, ask next time."

He nodded and she crossed her arms to shield herself from the deep understanding in his eyes.

"You could feel it. Outside?" she finally asked, standing up.

He nodded. "Yes."

"Lucifer could too." She paused and then shook her head. "I'm pregnant with angel spawn."

"Meg, I did not intend for this to happen."

"Ah, now we both know that's not entirely true. But yeah...I know."

He stepped towards her and reached out, pausing right before he touched her. She nodded, and he placed his hand firmly on her lower abdomen. She felt a rush of heat, right on the edge of burning, and then it was gone. Slowly, he smiled.

"She is healthy." He paused. "And happy to be here. She had been afraid before."

"She?" Meg asked, focusing on that rather than the fact that he could sense the emotions of an embryo.

"Yes." He withdrew his hand. "Can this be a good thing?"

"How can this in any way be a good thing?" Meg asked, stunned.

"This is our child," he said simply, returning his hand to her abdomen. She didn't feel the rush of heat, but she could feel the pressure of his touch.

"You're a sap," she said disgusted, not admitting that there was a part of her that agreed with him. This was their child. Something new and unique. "And this is a crime against nature."

"We have to tell them," he said, changing the subject.

Meg sighed and stepped away from him, rubbing her churning stomach. "No shit."

"They will not understand. Not completely."

The churning was getting worse, and she couldn't seem to control it. "I couldn't care less whether they understand."

"Meg."

She held up a hand, reached for the wastebasket in the corner, and vomited in it. Since she hadn't eaten anything in, well, months, all that came up was bitter bile. That just made her feel sicker.

She felt a pair of gentle hands pull her hair away from her face and hold it back while she was ill. Finally, she stopped and roughly pulled away from Castiel.

"What was that?" she asked, wiping her mouth on the edge of her shirt.

"I believe it is called morning sickness."

"No, I mean, why did you—" she gestured to her hair.

"I...thought you'd appreciate it."

She stared at him for a moment and set down the bin before heading for the door without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

Meg headed towards the stairwell, but for some reason paused and waited for Castiel to join her. He nodded and moved ahead of her. When they reached the ground floor, they found the Winchesters and Bobby in the living room. Bobby was now in a wheelchair, and he gave Meg a look of loathing.

"You wanna explain what she's doing here?" Bobby asked.

Meg opened her mouth to make a cutting reply, but Castiel spoke before she could.

"Meg is pregnant with my child," Castiel told them.

The stunned looks on all three of their faces made her start laughing. Castiel threw her a disapproving look, which only made her laugh harder.

"Balls," Bobby said and tossed the book he was holding onto the table.

"What do you mean she's pregnant with your child?" Dean asked slowly.

"I mean, Meg has a child growing in her uterus, and I am the father." Castiel frowned. "Am I using the wrong terminology?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think you are, because if what you're saying is true, then that means you fucked a demon, Cas."

"I would not state it so crudely, but that is correct."

"Wait," Sam said before Dean could speak again. "Let Cas explain."

"Oh, he'd better explain all right," Dean grumbled.

"Why should he?" Meg asked, leaning against the wall. "What makes you think he needs to answer to you?"

Dean took a step towards Meg, fury on his face, and Castiel moved between them, facing Dean. Dean didn't seem like he was going to back down and just stared at the angel.

Meg rolled her eyes. "Really? Want me to get the measuring tape?"

"Why would you need that?" Castiel asked, glancing back.

Meg snorted. "Never mind. Look, can we get on with this?"

"I never thought I'd say this, but Meg is right," Sam said, running a hand through his hair. "Cas, please, just...just help us to understand, okay? Please?"

"During our mission in Carthage, I was captured by Lucifer," Castiel began.

"Yeah, you told us. He held you for a while, and then you escaped," Dean said.

"That is not the entire story. Lucifer tried to turn me to his side. I refused. Then, he left, presumably to deal with you two. That's when I met Meg."

_The angel was standing inside the ring of Holy Fire. He was the first angel she had ever seen with her own eyes. Well, except for Lucifer, but Meg didn't like to think of Lucifer as an archangel. To her, he was her Father, the creator of demons._

_He seemed disappointingly normal. Straight dark brown hair that stuck up like feathers. Bright blue eyes that held fury and a hint of fear. His clothing was ridiculous. A black suit, white shirt, blue tie, and tan trench coat. Who even wore trench coats?_

_She knew that he was inside a vessel like she was. No demon could see an angel's true form without dying. Still, she had hoped for something more than the faint glow she could see._

_Castiel was this angel's name, and she could feel the power coming from him. It brushed against her own demonic energy, making her itch. Meg loved power._

_Lucifer left her alone with Castiel, and she couldn't resist taunting him. He regarded her with barely held disdain, but she could see something else in his eyes. Curiosity. Interest. It drew her, and she stepped closer to the ring of Fire._

_It was a trap. Castiel had let her taunt him, let her get close enough, and then he used his powers to loosen a pipe and knock her into the circle with him. He tried to smite her, but couldn't, and she laughed at him. The hatred on his face was plain, but to her surprise, it was combined with desire. He seemed to be debating with himself, and she half expected him to pull her into a kiss._

_To her surprise, she wouldn't mind if he did._

_Another demon came in, and the moment was interrupted._

"After releasing Death, Lucifer brought me to a different location. I was placed in a room alone. Then Meg was brought in, unconscious."

"Why were you unconscious?" Dean demanded.

Meg stayed silent.

_Lucifer was alone when Meg entered the room. They had left Carthage and moved to an abandoned hotel a few states away._

_"Why the frown?" Lucifer asked, setting aside some document. It looked old._

_"I failed," she admitted, the words bitter. Normally when in his presence, she felt nothing but pride and powerful faith. Now, she also felt shame. "I almost caused you to lose Castiel. He tricked me."_

_"Castiel is an angel and far smarter than you. It's to be expected."_

_The insult stung, coming from him._

_"You can make it up to me if you truly want," he said after a moment._

_"What can I do?"_

_He eyed her speculatively. "How old is your vessel?"_

_"Twenty-nine," she replied confused at the sudden change of topic._

_"And it is in good health?"_

_"Yes. She was a junkie, but I got a witch to heal everything." Most demons didn't care since it was so easy to find a new meat suit. Meg liked this one though. The woman's soul had left almost as soon as Meg possessed her, so she was completely alone. That was rare._

_"Good. Now strip."_

_She immediately began to remove her jacket. Outwardly, she showed no reaction as she undressed, but inside her emotions were churning. Demons were notorious gossips, and there had not been a single whisper of Lucifer showing sexual interest in demons. He'd taken a more paternal role, as was right. Meg didn't want to do this, but if it was what he requested to get back his trust, she would._

_He circled her, visually examining her but not touching. His gaze was speculative, not lustful, and it confused her._

_"Breasts are a bit small and your hips are narrow, but I don't think they'll cause any problems."_

_"I—what?"_

_Lucifer smiled at her and reached out, touching her forehead. "Don't worry about it."_

_Then everything went dark._

"We were imprisoned together for a long time," Castiel continued.

_When Meg awoke the first thing she realized was that she was not alone. She could sense energy nearby. Good energy. Angelic energy. She scrambled into a sitting position and saw that she was in a different location. The last thing she remembered was being in an office with Lucifer. Now, it appeared that she had been moved to a room. She was laying on a bed, and over in the corner she saw Castiel staring at her, a frown on his face. She had been redressed, but not in her normal clothing. Now she was wearing a simple black shift._

_"What the hell is going on?" Meg demanded, scrambling off the bed and heading to the door. It was locked, so she tried to teleport out. It didn't work. She also seemed to be trapped in her meat suit._

_"I cannot leave either," he said finally._

_"Great," Meg sighed and turned to look at him._

_"Why would your own people imprison you?" he asked._

_Why indeed? It seemed that Lucifer hadn't forgiven her after all._

"What neither of us realized was that..." Castiel trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from the men.

She felt sick again and rubbed her stomach, willing it to calm down. It was bad enough she'd puked in front of Castiel. She absolutely refused to do it in front of the Winchesters.

"Why don't we give him a minute," Sam said softly and left the room. Dean shook his head and also hurried out.

A few minutes later Sam returned carrying a plate. He handed it to Meg, and she saw it was two slices of dry toast. She took it, and he just nodded and returned to his seat. Meg reluctantly took a few bites and found it was settling her stomach.

Dean returned with beer and eyed Meg eating for a moment before turning his attention to Castiel. Castiel glanced at Meg and she shrugged. They wouldn't want to hear anything from her.

"Cas, it's okay. You can tell us what happened," Sam said quietly and Meg rolled her eyes. She might hate the guy, but she preferred Dean's straightforwardness to Sam's empathy.

Castiel, however, seemed to respond to it. "The whole time we were imprisoned we were under a spell."

Dean snorted. "A spell? Magic made you fuck?"

Castiel stared at Dean, turned around, and walked out.

"Dean," Sam admonished.

"What? It's bullshit. He's just—"

"Just what? Telling you the truth? Why don't you admit that nothing he says would ever be good enough for you? He disappointed you, and now you're punishing him."

"Shut up, Meg."

"No," Meg replied.

"Then can you continue? Please?" Sam asked.

Dean snorted but didn't leave. Now even Bobby threw him an annoyed glance. That seemed to make him calm down a little.

Meg sighed and set down the plate. "It was a spell. I don't know what kind. Lucifer has several powerful witches he uses."

"You didn't ask?" Bobby asked.

"I didn't get a chance to because I had no idea he was going to do it."

"Wait, so he did this without your permission?"

Meg nodded slowly and looked away. "I'm a demon. I've given my entire being over supporting Lucifer's cause. My life is his to do with as he wishes."

"No. That's messed up," Sam exclaimed. "He magically ruffied you and Cas!"

Meg shrugged, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He was acting as though Lucifer had betrayed her. He hadn't. At least, not until later. By then it was far too late.

"Let's just continue. So the spell made you two, uh..." Bobby interrupted.

"It was more complicated than that."

_She wasn't sure when it began, exactly. Maybe a day or two after first being imprisoned. It was subtle. She found herself wanting to be closer to Castiel, to touch him even. He seemed to feel the same because he left his corner and joined her at the small table and chairs. They didn't speak, because honestly, what would an angel and a demon have to discuss?_

_More time passed and she moved to the bed, and he sat next to her._

_Then, the need to be close to him grew, and she couldn't resist it anymore. It was like what she had felt in the circle of Holy Fire, but more intense. This time, he did kiss her. He held her tight, and she felt one of his hands tangled in her hair, tilting her head just how he wanted it. His hand strayed under the edge of her dress, lightly caressing the skin of her thigh. She was suddenly very thankful that it could easily be pulled off._

_After that, they couldn't get enough of each other._

_...kissing everywhere...touching..._

_...she knelt above him, slowly taking his cock into her mouth as he groaned in surprise and pleasure..._

_...him pulling her up his body and thrusting into her..._

_...him saying something in Enochian and her not knowing what it meant. Just knowing that at that moment he was offering her something and she needed to accept everything..._

_...crying out, loudly, as pleasure flowed through her body and true form..._

_...doing it all again...and again...over the course of several days until she had a strange feeling that something had happened...but she didn't know what._

"The spell wasn't some kind of fuck or die spell. It...it created a need. Like...I don't know, okay?"

"It made me need to give her everything. Every part of me. It was deeper than mere fornication," Castiel explained, coming back in the room. "It had to be."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because I believe that Lucifer wanted this child to be created. Angel reproduction is not as easy as human reproduction. Full angels can only be created by my Father. Nephilim, offspring that is half-angel, can only be created if the angel intends to create it."

"You meant to knock Meg up?" Dean asked.

"No. As I said, the spell made me need to give her everything. Apparently that was enough to restart this vessel's biological processes."

"You wanna lower that a bit?" Bobby asked.

"It's simple. When a demon or an angel possesses a body, we put the body in a kind of stasis. I mean, you really think we wanna deal with all the tiny things that make you human? In order to reproduce, those human processes need to be restarted. In Castiel's way, it's as simple as angelically enhancing the body's little swimmers. Unfortunately, pregnancy in humans is a little more complex and a full-body thing. Which means I get to experience everything," Meg explained.

Sam and Bobby nodded in understanding while Dean still looked a little confused. Figured.

"And Lucifer wants a kid why?" Dean asked.

"Nephilim are always stronger than the angel parent. We took away his Antichrist. A half-demon and half-angel Nephilim would be a powerful tool," Cas answered, grimly. He shifted closer to her as though to shield her. He really was feeling protective. She couldn't help but like it.

"We can't let him get his hands on him," Dean said.

"Her. We are having a girl."

"We obviously need to get you two somewhere safe. All of Hell will be after you," Bobby said.

"Heaven too. Nephilim are forbidden. The penalty is death for all of those involved," Castiel explained.

"Of course it is," Meg replied.

"You can stay here until we find a more permanent place," Bobby told them "I assume you know powerful wards?"

Castiel nodded and followed Bobby out of the room. Dean also hurried out, and Sam turned his attention to a thick book.

Meg sighed and wondered how she had gone from one of Lucifer's most trusted demons to an angel's broodmare.

_Meg sat cross-legged on the bed, her hand lightly resting low on her abdomen. She felt it today. A small change inside her body. As a demon possessing a human meat suit, she was very aware of the slightest change. Demons had to be. 99 percent of things could easily be ignored. That one percent though could be what killed you. So when she felt a sudden strange surge of power, she'd immediately monitored it. What she had found had left her stunned and panicked._

_A zygote had just implanted itself in her uterus._

_A baby._

_Worse, it's energy signature had a faint angelic feel to it._

_Castiel's baby. Her baby._

_It shouldn't have happened. Demons breeding in this way was complicated. It had to have been the spell._

_Which meant that Lucifer had planned it._

_She had thought that the spell making them fuck had been some sort of punishment. A humiliation that she would never be able to live down. Knock her down from her pedestal as Azazel's daughter and Alistair's apprentice._

_Now she knew differently. She was a tool. A womb._

_Well, she wouldn't let herself be. He obviously underestimated her. She would escape and never get his hands on whatever this child was going to be._


	3. Chapter 3

"Why are you doing this?" Meg asked, a few weeks later. She was with Castiel in the guest room. Castiel and Sam had cleaned it, and the faint scent of lemon cleanser lingered.

Frustratingly, being pregnant now meant that Meg had to sleep, so she was curled up in the bed, her head resting on Castiel's chest.

"You seem to fall asleep faster when I'm with you," he replied.

"No. I mean, why are you being so nice? Why do you want this baby to be something good?"

He reached down and lightly placed his fingertips against hers. "Because of what we didn't tell the Winchesters and Bobby."

Meg froze. "Don't."

_The spell seemed to have broken. Meg no longer felt the intense need. Now they sat, clothed, on the bed._

_The door opened and Lucifer entered, three demons with him._

_"What did you do to us?" Castiel demanded._

_"Do? Why I didn't do anything. Not really. Okay so my little spell may have rushed things a bit, but the spell couldn't have worked if there was nothing to work with." He laughed. "Guys, the spell didn't make you do anything you didn't already want to do!"_

"It means nothing," Meg told him, pulling away and sitting up.

"All right," he replied, getting off the bed and going to the door.

"That's it?" she asked.

"If you do not want me, I'm going to respect that. Goodnight, Meg."

She avoided him for a few days, hiding in her room and emerging only to take care of the annoying needs like eating and puking. During that time she found out that he had left with the Winchesters to go on a hunt. Bobby didn't say anything, didn't address her obvious conflict with Castiel. He either didn't care or was respecting her privacy. Either way, Meg was grateful.

When they returned a few days later, meg was alarmed by how glad she was to see him. She pulled him upstairs and pushed him against the door, kissing him deeply. He didn't respond, and when she reached for his belt, he stopped her.

"Meg, why?" he asked.

"I..." she trailed off, trying to describe feelings that were entirely new to her. "It did mean something. Does."

He seemed to understand and gave her a smile. He gently kissed her before pushing her away. "I agree We cannot do this though."

"I checked online. You can—"

"Humans can," he corrected. "I felt her, Meg. She's more aware than human babies. I cannot have that kind of intimacy with you while our child is there. It's wrong."

Meg nodded, hating it but agreeing with him. She had thought of the baby only in terms of something that had changed her life completely. Never as a separate, aware being. "You're right."

"I can still hold you though if you desire closeness," he suggested hesitantly.

"Yeah okay. I'll take what I can get."

o.O.o

Meg tugged her jeans up her body, and she paused when she couldn't seem to get then to fasten. Trying again, she still struggled. Looking down, she noticed that her stomach was noticeably thicker than it had been the day before. Not believing it, she laid down on the bed and forced the zipper up and the button closed. Sitting up, the waistband cut into her stomach, but she ignored it. Instead, she pulled on her purple shirt, frowning when it stretched across her stomach instead of handing loosely like normal.

She stormed downstairs and into the kitchen where Castiel and Bobby were. The Winchesters were off on a hunt.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked.

Meg couldn't speak. Forcing down the fear that made her heart race and her hands sweaty, she lifted her shirt to show her stomach and turned so that he could see that her once extremely flat stomach was now distinctly rounded.

"I was afraid of this," he replied, stepping up to her and placing his hand on the bump.

"It's only been a month," Bobby said.

"Nephilim pregnancies are five months, not nine. I think with the demonic energy also powering this pregnancy, it is going to be even shorter," Cas replied. She felt that rush of heat again and he frowned. "You're entering what would be the second trimester of development. I'd say this pregnancy is going to be three months in length."

o.O.o

The morning sickness passed, and Meg's appetite increased. That didn't take much since demons only ate for the pure pleasure of it, but this was even greater than normal. That was why Meg was sitting cross-legged on the bed watching a movie and eating a large plate of fried chicken livers.

Castiel walked in and quickly hid a smile at the sight.

"You're in a good mood," she commented.

"The Winchesters returned safe and unharmed. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess." She turned her attention back to the movie and absently rubbed her belly.

"Is something wrong?"

"It's kicking, and I hate it."

"How long have you been able to feel it?" he asked quietly.

"A few days now. Maybe a week."

"Can I feel?"

She shrugged, and he sat next to her. Taking his hand, she placed it on the left side of her belly. Almost as if it knew he was there, the baby kicked right under his hand.

He grinned. "That is wondrous."

Meg shoved his hand away and rubbed the spot. "No, it isn't."

"A baby kicking is a good thing, Meg."

"Easy for you to say. I'm in this meat suit too. It hurts. It's uncomfortable. I mean, I'm graciously sharing and this is the thanks I get? It's rude."

Cas took her hand and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. "It means our child is alive and growing. She's healthy. She cannot help but need to stretch. I do not think she means to hurt you."

Meg nodded. "You're right. It's just frustrating."

"I have been doing research. Most women feel pregnancy is uncomfortable. Is that the only thing bothering you?"

She started to say yes, but then gave up and shook her head. "I just get aches and pains. My legs. My back."

"You are near the third trimester now. That is normal. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, nothing can be done. No need to whine about it. Now, wanna finish this with me?"

He seemed surprised but pleased at the invitation and shifted so that he could see the television. Placing one arm around her, he set the other on her belly.

o.O.o

Meg sat down on the edge of the bed and groaned softly. Her back hurt, and absently rubbed it.

"Meg?" Castiel asked softly.

"What?"

"I...I'd like to try something if you'll let me."

She chuckled. "Believe it or not, I'm not in the mood. Get back to me when this thing is out of me."

"I don't understand."

"Never mind. What do you want to try?"

"It'll make you feel better. Please lay down on your side."

She narrowed her eyes at him but did as he asked, facing away. She heard rustling and he sat next to her. Lifting her shirt slightly, he placed his hands on her back and began to firmly massage the sore muscles.

"Didn't know angels gave massages," she muttered.

"Normal angels do not. Father to be angels, yes. It is my child that is making you feel this way, therefore it is my responsibility to correct it. Besides, I enjoy making you feel good."

"I remember," she replied with a smirk.

He didn't reply, but she would swear she heard a slight chuckle.

o.O.o

Castiel entered the living room and almost collapsed onto Bobby's cot. Meg, seated in a chair reading a magazine, got up as fast as she could.

"What the hell happened?" Bobby demanded.

"Famine. We defeated him. Well, Sam did. He...he affected me," Castiel replied with shame. "I'll be all right. I just...need some time."

Meg took in his food-stained clothing, his pale, sickly appearance, and felt a rush of fury. She wanted to hit the angel, hopefully, knock some sense into him, but didn't. She grabbed onto her well-practiced self-control instead.

"Damn you, Castiel."

He looked at her, confused, and she stormed into the kitchen.

"What did I do?" he asked, coming up behind her.

She closed the door to the fridge and turned around. "Look at me."

"You are very large but that does—"

"I'm 'very large' because I'm going to give birth any day now! And you're running off time traveling and getting into battles with the Horsemen."

"I have to—"

"You have to make a choice: me and the baby, or the Winchesters. You can't do both, because they're going to get you killed. You're not at full power anymore."

"I'm an angel. I was charged with watching over the Winchesters."

"They cut you off! They don't want you anymore. More importantly, you're a father now. Why are the fucking Winchesters more important than this child I thought you wanted so much?" More important than her, although she wouldn't even admit to that under torture.

He stared at her, stony-faced, and she just raised an eyebrow before leaving him to think.

o.O.o

Meg awoke in the middle of the night to wetness between her legs. She wasn't surprised. She'd been having mild pains for several days.

"Cas?" she said, knowing that if he was in the house, he would hear her. "It's started."

She heard wings and looked up to find him standing next to the bed. "You're sure?"

"That or I pissed the bed," she said, climbing out from under the blankets.

"Oh. Yes, the membranes rupturing is a sign labor is imminent. I'll go get Sam."

The Winchesters had returned a few days previously.

"Why?"

"He has agreed to assist during your labor and delivery. We have been studying Midwifery together."

She wanted to laugh, but pain gripped her abdomen in an iron grip, and she couldn't help but focus on it. "Yeah, probably a good idea."

Sam entered the room a while later, still a little sleepy, but seemingly ready. The pains were coming faster and more intense now. She had changed into a loose nightgown and tossed the soiled bedding into the corner.

Sam busied himself laying a rubber sheet on the bed and adding old and worn sheets on top. Cas held her steady as another contraction came and went.

"We should check how far along you are," he said. "Do you feel like pushing yet?"

Meg shook her head and climbed up onto the bed. Cas sat at her bent knees and carefully examined her.

"Last time you were down there was a lot more pleasant, I gotta say," she told him.

Sam, who had his back turned and he laid out some instruments chuckled.

"Uh, right. You're at five centimeters. Halfway there," Cas told her.

"Isn't that a bit fast?" Sam asked. "You said her water just broke."

"The gestation was fast. It makes sense the labor will be too."

"This is not fast," Meg said. "Fast would be like, I sneeze and out pops this thing."

It was not fast. Two hours later Meg was walking around the room in the hopes that it would speed things up.

"I swear, if I don't get this thing out of me soon, I'm going to kill somebody," she said. She'd stopped pacing and was now leaning on the metal bed frame as Castiel rubbed her lower back. Sweat coated her body, making her hair limp and her nightgown cling to her skin.

"You're doing well, Meg," Cas told her.

"Don't leave," she said.

He paused and turned her so that she was leaning against his shoulder. "I am not planning to."

"Even if Dean calls you," she said, hating the words coming out of her mouth, but unable to stop them.

"I will not leave you. I swear."

Meg clung to Cas' arms as she lay back on the bed. The contractions were every five minutes, and she had the urge to push.

"Meg, I need to check to see if you're fully dilated. May I?" Sam asked when Meg refused to let go of Cas so Cas could examine her.

She chuckled. "You're asking for my consent?"

"Yes," he said firmly.

"Yeah. I don't care."

Sam quickly checked. "Okay. You're at ten. I need you to push."

Gripping Cas' hands, she concentrated and pushed. She pushed with everything she had until Sam tried to stop her.

"Wait."

"Fuck you," she replied and burst into tears. She hated everything at that moment. Sam. Cas. The situation.

"Wait. Small pushes, Meg. Too fast and you'll hurt yourself. Small, controlled pushes."

Meg obeyed, listening to Cas' encouraging murmurs.

"Cas? Come here," Sam said after she had been pushing for a little while.

Cas shifted, but Meg refused to let go of his hand. She needed him and his strength because she was at the end of hers.

"That's..." Cas trailed off.

"Your baby's head," Sam said. "Okay, Meg. The head is born. On the next contraction, I want you to push. Nice big pushes, okay?"

She nodded and let go, grabbing her knees and pushing with as hard as she could. A yell escaped, and she felt the baby finally leave her.

She collapsed back against the pillows and Cas let go of her hand. A few moments later she heard a thin, high pitched cry filled the room.

"Here's your daughter," Sam said, handing a towel wrapped bundle to Cas.

Cas took the baby like it was made of glass. He moved closer to Meg so that she could see.

The baby's face was wiped clean, but bits of blood and fluid clung to her hair and body. Meg didn't care.

"She's okay? She'd normal?" Meg asked. The baby looked human. She couldn't see wings or scales or anything different.

"She's...she's ours. She doesn't have to be normal," Cas replied, pushing the baby towards her.

Meg took her, surprised at how tiny and light she was. The minute she was in Meg's arms, she stopped crying. "Hey. So you're who has been kicking me."

The baby's eyes opened for a moment and Meg saw that they were brown. She also had a head full of dark brown hair. The newborn started to nuzzle her chest.

"Hey, Cas? Why don't you get her cleaned up and fix a bottle? Meg's not quite done yet."

"Sam's correct. You must still deliver the placenta. I will return her to you as soon as possible," Cas said and paused. "She needs a name."

"I know," Meg said, reluctantly handing their daughter to Cas. "What do you want?"

"I like Phoebe."

"Phoebe she is then." She paused. "Cas? She is a good thing."

He smiled at her, then leaned down and gently kissed Meg. "Yes, she is."


	4. Chapter 4

Meg let Cas carry Phoebe downstairs to introduce her to Dean and Bobby. The newborn was dressed in a pink onesie that had a cartoon owl on it. Meg had informed him that this would be the only time her daughter would ever wear something so nauseatingly cute.

"I can't believe you delivered the frikkin baby, Sam. You went near Meg's demon lady parts!" Dean was saying.

"I'll pay for the therapy," Meg said when they entered the living room.

"That her?" Bobby asked, gesturing to the blanket-wrapped baby.

"Yes. This is Phoebe," Cas told them. "Would you like to hold her?"

"Nah," Bobby replied. "I'm too rough."

"You'll do fine," Cas replied, leaning down and setting the baby in Bobby's arms. The hunter seemed awkward and unsure, but after a few minutes, she saw the hint of a smile on his normally gruff face. "Well. She's something, isn't she?"

Meg glanced over at Cas. He had an expression of pure love and pride on his face. It stirred something in her and she felt...

Something she shouldn't.

She went into the kitchen and searched in the fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer.

"What's the matter?" Cas asked, following her.

"I'm a demon," she told him.

"I'm well aware."

"Then maybe you can tell me why I feel...what I feel for her. I shouldn't be able to. It should have been cut out of me hundreds of years ago." She drained the bottle and went to grab another.

Cas stopped her. "She's your daughter."

"I'm well aware."

The corners of his mouth twitched. "She's a part of you. She grew right next to your true form. I do not believe anything in the universe is more powerful than that."

"Don't get all sappy on me now, okay?" she replied, while at the same time she felt almost thankful for his words.

Yet she still felt immensely conflicted. Now that the baby was here, she no longer had the pregnancy to distract her. Now, she was forced to deal with her conflicting and confusing emotions.

o.O.o

Dean refused to let it go. It was several days and a lot of pushing on Cas' part before the hunter finally held the baby. Meg asked why Cas insisted on it. Cas replied, confused, that dean was his best friend, and should, therefore, hold his child. Meg knew not to push, but when Cas handed the blanket-wrapped bundle to the hunter, Meg was right there, watching every move Dean made.

"She's...normal-looking," Dean replied.

"Told you," Sam said, amused.

Phoebe fussed and Meg went to take her but stopped at a glance from Cas. She crossed her arms and waited.

"She, you know done any mojo stuff?" Dean asked.

"She cries, eats, and shits," Meg replied. "What more do you want?"

"I'm just saying that she's the child of a demon and an angel. We don't know how powerful she is. If she takes after Cas, okay. But if she takes after Meg—"

He didn't finish because Phoebe chose that moment to vomit all over Dean. Dean swore and held the baby away from his body.

"Careful of her head," Cas exclaimed, taking the baby from Dean's hands.

Meg laughed. "Oh, she definitely takes after my side. She can't stand to hear you speak any more than I can."

Still swearing, Dean hurried out of the living room. Meg followed him.

"What do you want," Dean grumbled, stopping outside of the bathroom.

Meg shoved him into the bathroom and held him against the wall. "I want to be very, very clear about this. This is me not lying or exaggerating. This is me speaking the absolute truth. If you ever come for my daughter I will kill you. I won't bother with torture or even play with you a little before your death. I will rip your fucking head from your body. Do you understand?"

Dean swallowed thickly. "Yes."

o.O.o

Meg went into what was now her room to find Cas seated on the bed. Phoebe was resting curled up on his chest. He held one hand securely under her, while the other gently rubbed her back. He was humming, and after a few notes, Meg realized it was Stand By Me. She quickly moved out of the doorway and leaned against the wall outside, listening to him.

He had taken to fatherhood surprisingly fast. Dirty diapers, baby vomit, and crying for longer than necessary didn't seem to bother him. He dealt with it all in a matter of fact way.

Meg, however, felt awkward around her daughter. The baby seemed to prefer her for some reason, and she didn't know why. She was evil. A demon. Phoebe should cry in her presence, not be comforted.

"Meg" Cas called.

"Yeah," she asked, entering the room.

He motioned for her to sit, and placed the baby in her arms once she was settled. Phoebe stirred but went back to sleep.

"You're her mother. You gave her life. She loves you," he said and returned to his humming. Meg settled against him and held her daughter close.

o.O.o

"Can I ask you something?" Sam asked her one morning. Cas, Dean, and Bobby were in the other room researching something on one of the Horsemen.

"At your peril," Meg replied, placing Phoebe in his arms so she could prepare a bottle.

"Right. Uh, I wanted to ask earlier but... How'd you escape?"

It took all of her control not to freeze. "What?"

"From Lucifer. No offense, but you're just a Black-Eyed demon. He's an archangel."

"Racist much?" Meg asked, sitting across from him at the table. She wanted to take Phoebe from him, but the baby seemed content. "You guys have it all wrong. Black-Eyed demons are a type, not an indication of power."

"Oh."

Meg sighed and nodded at Phoebe. Sam seemed confused and she rolled her eyes and nodded harder. Sam looked down at the baby who was watching him. His eyes widened.

"Oh! But..." he trailed off as all of the implications dawned on him. "Wow."

"Yeah. Understand?"

Sam looked back towards the other room and then down at Phoebe again. "Yeah, I do."

Meg stared at him, letting him know that Phoebe's life was now in his hands. Dean wouldn't hesitate if he knew how powerful she was and if he considered her a threat. Sam nodded once and then turned his attention on the newborn.

o.O.o

The Winchesters had eliminated all of the Horsemen. It was time to finish everything once and for all. To his credit, Cas had made his choice. He'd stayed true to his word and focused on raising Phoebe instead of helping the brothers. Dean protested loudly, but Cas stood firm.

When Michael took Adam as his vessel instead of Dean, they knew their time had ended.

Three months. Three simple months raising their daughter.

To his credit, Sam grew a pair and made the decision. He would say yes to Lucifer. Obviously, there was more to it, but nobody let Meg in on the plan. Their trust in her was limited, and she grudgingly respected them for it.

"Where's Phoebe?" Meg asked, entering their room. It was time for her late-night bottle.

"With Sam. I think she brings him comfort, and he needs that right now. Dean is out in his car drinking, and Bobby is researching. I think he feels—" Cas explained, folding a baby blanket.

Meg shut him up with a kiss. He seemed surprised but returned it. She reached for his buttons, glad he had taken to not wearing his coat or jacket since Phoebe kept spitting up on them.

He pulled away, questioning. "Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah," she replied, tugging off her own shirt and dropping it to the floor. His eyes moved over her breasts, still a little heavier from the pregnancy. She also still had a little weight around her middle left to lose.

"You are very beautiful," he told her, tracing a line from her neck down past her shoulder. She knew that he was talking about her true form because that was where she had a row of small spines.

"Shut up," she replied with no real heat and focused on undressing them both.

It had none of the intensity and urgency of their couplings while under the spell. Cas was gentle, touching her with an almost reverence. Every attempt she made to speed things up, he gently resisted until she'd decided to go with it. He touched, caressed, and kissed, her body, not really seeming to care about his own pleasure, before kneeling between her legs and using his mouth to give her pleasure until she was left shaking from the intensity of her orgasm. Obviously pleased with himself, he waited a few minutes before shifting so that she was on top.

"My favorite position," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

"I remember," he replied, running his hand down her side to her waist. "This is different though."

"Hmm," she replied, running her tongue down his chest and flicking his nipple with her tongue.

"I know it is not, and I'm very happy we have Phoebe, but I'd like to think of this as..." he trailed off, causing her to lift her head and look at him.

"As what?"

"As out true first time together."

Slowly, she smiled at him. "You are such a sap, Clarence."

"I know," he replied, seeming to understand that this time she did not mean it as an insult.

She set a faster pace, and he gripped her hips so hard she knew she'd have bruises. Leaning forward, she placed her hands against his chest, feeling the way his breath had sped up.

"Meg, I—"

"That's the idea," she replied with a chuckle.

He made a frustrated sound and pulled her down into a kiss, flipping them so that she was on her back. She gave a startled gasp that quickly changed to a soft cry as he thrust into her, hard, sending a jolt of pleasure through her. She gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into his back.

"Don't close your eyes," he said.

Her legs tightened around his as she switched to deep-circling thrusts that had her biting her lip to keep from crying out as she went over the edge again. He watched her, whispering something in Enochian that she didn't understand, yet at the same time understood deep down. His movements became erratic as his control slipped and a few moments later, he shuttered against her as he came.

He rolled off of her and she moved over, resting her head on his still damp chest. He smelled of sweat and sex and that unique clean scent that had to be pure angel. As close to his true self as she could ever get.

"They want me to go with them," he said into the dark. "I won't if you don't want me to."

"I don't want you to," she replied. "But you have to. If Lucifer wins he will come for Phoebe."

He didn't reply but his arms tightened around her.

"You'd better come back."

"I cannot promise that. We are going against Lucifer and Michael."

He got up from the bed and dressed before leaving the room. Meg stared after him, stunned, before wrapping a robe around herself and heading to the bathroom. She showered, cleaning all of the evidence of their activities away, before changing to a pair of pajamas. When she returned to the room she found he had returned. He'd stripped the bed and changed the sheets, and was now laying on his side, with Phoebe sound asleep next to him. Without speaking, Meg joined him and settled their daughter safely between them.

"I won't say it because I do not want to have to break a promise to you, Meg."

"Fine," she replied, running her finger over Phoebe's cheek.

"I will promise to do everything I can to return. Is that good enough?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

He fell silent, and they spent the next few hours watching their daughter sleep.

When she awoke, Cas went downstairs and prepared a bottle for her. He returned and they went through the normal morning motions. Feeding Phoebe. Bathing her. Arguing over what outfit she would wear. This time Meg gave in and allowed Cas to dress the baby in a pale blue skirt and white top that had a pale blue ruffle on it. No matter how hard she had tried to rid the baby's wardrobe of overly cute, frilly clothes they had somehow returned.

Now she was glad they had.

When it was time for Cas and the Winchesters to leave, Meg didn't go down to say goodbye. Instead, she held Phoebe close and listened to the low rumble of the Impala driving away.


	5. Chapter 5

Meg knew the exact moment Castiel died.

She was in the living room with Bobby and Phoebe. Bobby had been tense and gruff, cursing the fact that he hadn't gone to the final battle. Meg had given him Phoebe to calm him down. It worked, and he had the baby smiling.

Then suddenly the baby had tensed and let out a wail that sent chills down Meg's spine.

"See, this is why—" Bobby began.

"Shut up," Meg told him, grabbing her daughter from his arms. Instinct made her try to calm the baby's cries, but she knew nothing could make it better.

"What?"

"It's not you," Meg told him. "I think it's Cas."

She'd suspected that there was a connection between the two ever since she had teleported here instead of to her safe house.

"Why would...no."

Meg just stared at the hunter.

He swore and left the room. Meg held her daughter to her chest. "Damn it, Clarence."

She took the baby upstairs and set her in her crib. Phoebe continued to cry for a few more minutes, and then suddenly stopped. The silence was so profound that Meg actually reached down to see if the baby was still alive. Phoebe was, and actually grabbed Meg's finger, babbling happily. Meg felt an ache in her chest and pulled her hand away. Phoebe looked at her and babbled again. Running a finger down her daughter's cheek, Meg stepped away from the crib and sat down on the bed. The ache grew until it encompassed her completely. Not knowing how to deal with it, she lashed out with her power, shattering the mirror that hung above the dresser on the other side of the room.

o.O.o

The Impala drove up and Dean slowly got out of the car. Just Dean. Bobby went out to meet him, and Meg went upstairs. She tossed everything she owned into a large trash bag and buckled Phoebe into her carrier.

Downstairs Dean and Bobby stopped talking when they saw her.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby asked.

"Cas is dead, isn't he?" she asked. Dean took a swallow of whiskey and looked away. "Told you. I just need to get past the wards and we'll be gone."

Her two main allies were gone, and neither Dean nor Bobby would want her there anymore. They couldn't stand her. Bobby had been tolerant and polite even. Dean had made his feelings well known.

"Don't be stupid," Bobby replied and moved towards her. She took a step to the side so he could get his chair past. Instead, he stopped next to her and took Phoebe's carrier from her. "We're all we've got now. And if you think I'm gonna let you leave before I teach her how to say my name, you're crazy."

o.O.o

They settled into a strange kind of routine. Dean continued to hunt. Bobby continued to help other hunters. Meg raised Phoebe. The baby reached milestones a little earlier than human babies did, and her powers grew as well. To his frustration, she began to crawl sooner than expected, and Bobby had to baby-proof his house. Phoebe wasn't a human, however, and to Meg's amusement more than once she caught Bobby removing an artifact from Phoebe's grip.

The fact that Phoebe never seemed to go for the dangerous ones was something that none of them chose to think about.

Every day Phoebe looked more and more like Castiel's vessel, and it made the ache in her chest stronger. Phoebe had her brown eyes, but her hair was straight dark brown, not wavy. It stuck up all over the place until it was longer, reminding her of feathers. Her skin coloring was also closer to olive than her own paleness. She wondered if Phoebe had a true form. One so close to angelic that she would never be able to see it. Phoebe certainly was powerful. Meg could feel it. It was a strange power, neither completely demonic or angelic.

o.O.o

One day, about a year after the Apocalypse was averted, Dean called Meg. She answered, preoccupied with putting a sock on Phoebe's foot. The child was in a mood this morning, squirming everywhere. He told her to meet him outside in ten minutes.

Meg finished dressing her daughter and carried her downstairs and outside. Bobby was outside working on some kind of car part.

"What's Dean want?" she asked.

"How should I know? Haven't heard from him in over a week. Why?" Bobby asked, tossing down the screwdriver and swearing. "I could use his help though."

"Well, he'll be here any minute."

Sure enough, the Impala pulled into the scrap yard and Phoebe shrieked excitedly. The child had grown quite fond of Dean, though she had never had this reaction before.

"Dada!" Phoebe exclaimed and Meg froze.

"No," Meg told her, feeling an ache in her chest. "Dean. Not Dada. Never Dada."

She glanced at Bobby who was watching with an expression of compassion. She pushed down the urge to lash out.

Phoebe's face twisted as it did every time Meg told her no. The kid's demonic side showed in that she loved to get her own way.

"Phoebe..." Meg warned.

"Dada!" Phoebe shrieked, in full tantrum mode.

Meg shifted the flailing, crying child in her arms and headed back towards the house. "Tell Dean I'll be back."

She heard the car door open and close. Bobby cleared his throat and said, "you might wanna wait."

Meg sighed and turned back around only to find it wasn't Dean standing by the Impala.

It was a man with dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and wearing a tan trench coat.

"Dada!" Phoebe exclaimed and this time Meg didn't correct her.

"Yeah, that's him," she agreed, walking over to Castiel.

The angel was staring at Phoebe, seeming to try to take in every change from the three-month-old he had last seen. Phoebe reached out for him and he took her from Meg's arms.

"She's very different," he said, his tone regretful. "I missed a lot."

"When?" she asked.

"The same day I died. I think it was my Father who brought me back. I'm a Seraph now. I would have returned, but the other angels made me forget everything. Well, they tried to. I could not forget my child," he said, hugging Phoebe close. "I pretended to until they trusted me enough to return here. Then I sought out Gabriel. I suspected that his death had been faked. He's well known for his tricks. I found him in Monte Carlo engaging in unseemly behavior."

"Mm...you'll have to fill me in when we're alone," Meg interrupted.

He smiled slightly. "I convinced him to come back and take Heaven. There was a battle. Raphael was defeated, and Gabriel now rules the angels, and I am free."

Dean got out of the car, and so did Sam. "Yeah, he still wasn't done. After that, he went to Hell and retrieved Sam from the Cage."

"That was tricky. I almost wasn't able to get his body and soul. I did though, and after taking Sam to Dean—"

"He passed out in my motel room for a week," Dean grumbled.

"Five days," Sam corrected.

"Felt like a week."

"I had them bring me here. I'm still very low on energy," Castiel finished. "You're not angry, are you? I would have come straight here, but I didn't know if I would survive—"

"Sam?" Meg interrupted.

"Uh, yeah?" Sam replied, cautiously.

"Take Phoebe, will you?"

Sam stepped forward and grabbed the child from Castiel's arms.

"Meg, please—" He paused, seeming to be resigned to his fate. "It you must attack me, please do not do it in front of Phoebe. Let Sam take her away first."

"Let's...let's just calm down, okay? " Sam said. "Meg, it's my fault that he didn't return sooner. He wasted too much energy pulling me safely from Hell. If you must take out your anger, take it out on me."

Dean started to protest and Meg held up her hand. "Both of you shut up. This is between me and the angel."

"Meg?"

She replied by pulling him into a deep kiss.


End file.
